The Horizon by Bette

....and she came to sit a while and dangle her feet off the horizon, to enjoy the sunset up close, live life up close, taking it all in, letting all the rest fall over the edge, letting it all go, at least all the things that didnt matter....which was most of it. She hung on to the really important things but not too hard that she might not allow room for the miracles that might come round, well, that were sure to come round, if she didnt seek merely an outcome, fixated on the ending but enjoying it as it is, the middle parts too.

....she swung her feet back anf forth and thought about herself and how she fit into it all....how small she was on that big ol horizon yet she played a part. She made a difference because she has lived, she made a loud shout and lived her life out loud, never squelching who or what she was, refusing to shine so others might be more comfortable around her. No she created a comfort for them in others ways, making them feel loved and important and cared about, not forgetting to do the same for herself however.....

.....and the colors seemed to fade at times while sitting there so she sought to remember, to remember all that she came her to do and BE and her colors were inside if her somewhere..she just needed to look, not too hard but be willing to see, because they are there the whole time. Wondering what clouded that all up for her temporarily....oh yes she knew...it was those voices, yes they are the culprits, the inner ones yes, yet they came after the others spoke, sharing what they thought she "coulda, woulda, shoulda, be doing....or did it come before...her inner voices. Yes she thinks so, lest those fairly new yet very attentively visiting ones even affect her.....yes she had let herself go, as in, left off loving herself a lil. When they showed up it appeared as more evidence of why and how she was faulty and flawed and she scrathed her butt and wondered how this had happened....how had she left off with herself and where? 

 She thought a bit and sposed it was when she lost her job...just a job, any job, didnt matter yet the loss of all that meant to her...ut oh here we go..it meant something....what did it mean? What she made it mean....that she was caring for her own needs and financing her life and she held it all together that way. She had it good. Sooooo hmmmm she said, is it the loss of a job that makes one sad or happy.....she will be happy when....??? ugh

 Be happy right here, right now, swinging her feet off the edge of the world, as the sun was coming up and all the vivid colors came into her shudder....she snapped it quickly so as not to forget, to never forget who she is, what she is doing here, all she came to do......truth is, nothing had changed, she had merely wiped away what was fogging her vision.....now she could really see the horizon and all there was in store for her!
 
The End....the beggining, everything in between she thinks.