Didn't really know what to call this. I just needed to get this out on paper (so to speak). I joined a raw food forum a couple of years ago and have spent a lot of time there reading, learning. It was a great place to start and I have really started eating better and eating way more raw food. I know I am healthier now than when I joined.

But I have been noticing something in myself that I don't like. I spent a lot of time beating myself up for not being able to be all raw. As much as everyone there says there are no raw police, the overwhelming feeling I get is that it is BEST to be all raw. So I strove for that. And failed.

I would forgo healthy cooked food in an attempt to try new raw dishes. I would feel less than perfect if I didn't like the new recipe. And I didn't like a lot of the recipes. I started to feel that my old standby quinoa casseroles and veggie dishes were "bad" food choices. And I wasn't measuring up.

I totally get that this is my problem and not the forums or anyone else's. But you see I have had food disorders all my life. I have not been anorexic or bulimic (thank goodness) but I have had a warped view of food ever since I can remember. And this new obsession with raw food just led me down a new path of control and failure.

I read an article in the paper today that got me thinking about this. About how the internet has allowed people to feel normal about their obsession because they find a community of people who are just like them.

So I have decided that I am tired of reading about fasting (for weight loss in a lot of cases), "try 100% - you'll see a total difference","have you bought the 'bible' - it tells you all!" and blah blah blah!!

Thanks for reading. I feel better now. I eat a healthy diet that includes a lot of raw foods because I believe we should eat close to how nature intended but some things I cook because I won't eat them raw (swiss chard, potatoes, good grains) because they are still better for me that way than not eating them at all.

I agree. I see people who are not raw, saying they are because of how they want to be perceived. I see people who talk about fasting constantly yet, their weight never changes ~ which tells me something.

One thing someone once told me ~ "There is no brag in say (fill in the blank)...". In that case he was talking about being vegetarian yet, I've caught in in myself saying I'm raw vegan and my husband looking at me strangely. Uh, duh! What's the brag?

I guess many of us at some points feel we're special, we're different, we're whatever it is we feel to be yet, in fact, many of us at times are hypocrites.

As I'm reading "The Four Agreements" I am REALLY getting clear on they why we do things.

I also have been down the path you are. Feeling I HAVE to be a certain way instead of how I want to be. That's one reason I began this forum. No pressure. You feel to eat cooked? Enjoy! You eat a dead animal on occasion? Enjoy! (Although it's not promoted/endorsed here.. and there wont be recipes on it.. if YOU (general you, not you, you) do it.. enjoy!)

I'm feeling folks need to be more relaxed about their food choices and less judgmental about themselves. For me, for the post part, I go for fresh. I dislike raw broccoli so, I steam eat. I like rice so, I make a basmati blend on occasion and enjoy it on top of my kale salad. I like potatoes and will NOT eat them raw.

I'm very anxious to get started on my group on "The Four Agreements" because it is SO profound in its teachings. During the group I'll be rereading it for the second time. Each time, I'll go deeper into the learning about being more and more authentic.

Thank you for your post Snoops. A few things I got from that forum are: more raw IS better; eat for YOUR health; enjoy your food choices and, be good to YOU!

Love and hugs,

Revvell

Rawk on snoops....eat what is right for you!

YES YES YES...I have seen a new way to be. Right from the get go, I was not on board with said raw forum. YES I learned alot because it had alot of content.

I feel blessed A. was there to moniter and control and correct and chastise. I feel blessed A. was heading it up and allowing it. I saw awesome people go away due to this. L. left and now we all have for the most part.

Point? We learned what we learned, we gathered what we gathered and we moved on. We saw raw control and guilt and red wagons as we fell of them, failures and defeats. High time we let go of all that crappola and LOVED ourselves again. eh?

No bragging rights, no hypocrisy, true to myself and in integrity for where I stand. Mostly, not making anyone else wrong for how they eat. This is huge.

I have seen how much I get left out of socially because people just dont want to be around such an eater as I. That dont want to feel how they feel eating what they eat in front of me. How riccculusssss is that?

Life, lived to the fullest. Raw as possible while enjoying my time with others. A nice delicate balance that keeps me happy and loven the life Im liven.